Why do I like horses?


Why do I like horses?
I reckon I must be mad.
My mother wasn't horsey
And neither was my dad.

But the madness hit me early
And it hit me like a curse.
And I've never gotten better
In fact I've gotten worse.

My stables are immaculate.
My house is like a hovel.
Last year for my birthday
I got a brand new shovel.

I hardly read a paper
But I know who's sold their horse
And I wouldn't watch the news
If Mr. Ed was on, of course.

One eye's always on the heavens
But my washing waves in vain
As I rush to get the horses in
In case it's going to rain.

And though they're wearing 15 rugs,
The best that you can get,
I bring them in to keep them dry
While I get soaking wet.

 I spend up every pound I've got
On horsey stuff for sure.
 I buy fancy rugs and fancy rugs
 And then I buy some more.

 I should have had that hair cut
 Or bought that nice blue shirt
At least it wouldn't now be
Ripped to shreds and in the dirt.

I can't make a bloody sponge cake
 I don't even try
But I can back a car and trailer
In the twinkling of an eye.

It's jodhpurs and mucky boots
That I live in night and day
 And that smell of sweaty horses
Just doesn't wash away.

Once in every. now and then
I can dress up for a ball.
Make up and a hairdo
With high heel shoes and all.

I ache from long forgotten falls.
My knees have got no skin.
My toes have gone a funny shape.
From being all squashed again.

But late at night, when all is still
And I've gone to give them hay,
 I touch their velvet softness
And my worries float away.

They give a gentle nicker
And they nuzzle through my hair
 And I know it's where my heart is
More there than anywhere.