Last post of 2010

In some ways I'll be more than glad to see the end of 2010, but it's also hard to move on and start another year because part of me doesn't want to leave things behind.   No matter where we turn at this time of year, it's impossible to avoid being confronted with the fact that someone very important is missing from our lives.  The season of goodwill has been hard, filled this year with the longing of what can never be.  2010 has pretty much been a write off for me.  I  have not achieved any of the goals I had set for Wolfie.  I am not going to dwell on it though.  We have achieved many things, just not reached the goals I had planned.  I shouldn't be morose about it.  To Wolfie, it hasn't made any difference, I suppose bringing him on slowly can only be beneficial to him.  I'm only disappointed for myself.  I feel like it's been a long, long road to get Wolfie to where he is.  I've put a lot of hard, hard work into that horse.  From nursing him through his illness, getting him back on his feet, basic handling, ground work, trying to build his confidence at every step.  I would do it all again in a second but I've taken everything really slowly with him and I just felt this year was going to be our year to start working seriously , but it wasn't to be.  To be fair, the relationship I have Wolfie is like none I have ever experienced with any other horse.  It is very intense and sometimes I worry about what would happen if he did ever have to be sold or move on to anyone else.  I just have to hope that we will never have to cross that bridge.  To me, Wolfie is a horse for life, so it doesn't matter how long it takes us to achieve our goals or live our dreams.  At least I know that he's now physically mature enough to cope with any work being asked of him.  I don't know if Wolfie remembers much of his life before me, to Wolfie I am still that main consistent thing in his life that made him two promises.  One was to do everything I possibly could, to make him better and the other was always to ensure that someone always fed him.  Wolfie hasn't changed, he does his best to learn and work with me.  It's me that now wants to achieve more,  I see so much potential in him,  but I'm positive that no matter what comes our way, we'll get through it and you never know, we might just even be quite good at it.

The boys got their feet done today.  New feet for the New Year.  Wolfie has been pretty subdued.  He's not really interested in his hay or haylage.  He's still eating his hard feed, but he just seems to be completely bored and fed up.  I need to get him back into some form of work.  Buttons is just Buttons.  It's difficult to put into words little Buttons personality.  He's such a good, nice person.  He certainly knows his family now and is completely secure.  Sometimes at night, I sit in his stable with him, scratching him.  He loves affection and I only stop when he eventually tries to sit on you.

Here's to a happy and healthy 2011.